Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Chaos Theory

It should come as no surprise that life isn't fair. Bad things happen to good people, evil men prosper while saints starve and Jessica Simpson still makes records.

But I believe that we are responsible for all of the chaos that surrounds us. The universe craves balance and when it gets too far out of control, life & the universe must correct itself. These corrections are random and chaotic...and sometimes make no sense. But they're a necessary evil, for without them the planet would cease to turn on its axis, apes would rise up and rule the world and Jessica Simpson would still be making records.

For example

*Mitch Hedberg, John Candy and Bill Hicks die. To fill the void, we get Carrot Top, Dane Cook and Jay Leno.

*ABC has a fun little sweeps special called "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"...Millions watch...the universe, thinking we have no use for high-quality scripted shows, reacts with "Temptation Island", "Kid Nation" and about 75 other "reality" shows. In a surprising move, it lets Regis Philbin live obviously deciding that having to share a show with both Kathy Lee Gifford and Kelly Ripa is punishment enough.

*Vanderbilt is (as of this writing) undefeated and in the Top 20 in college football. America's entire economy implodes. If the Commodores make the Top 10, be on the lookout for the Four Horsemen and don't make any long term investments.

*Paris Hilton still has a TV show. Jessica Simpson still makes records. This isn't so much a balance issue as it is me pointing out once again that life is really, really unfair and cruel.

*John Belushi...dead. Jim Belushi...living off residuals of "According To Jim". One time when I wish the universe could've waited to fill the Belushi Void.

*Although, no one can claim that every now and then, the universe doesn't have a sense of humor. Kirk Cameron's "Fireproof" did make more money at the box office this week than Bill Maher's "Religulous".

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