Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Nothing Much

So, I don't really have anything on my mind. Well, that's not entirely true...I've got about 7 million things on my mind, but none of them are particularly interesting or funny or really worth writing about. So, I thought I'd take the time to fire off a few things that are on my mind, but don't really warrant a full blog. Please to enjoy:

*My loathing of Duran Duran knows no bounds. Hated them when they were popular in the 80s, hated them when a couple of them were in that band with Robert Palmer, hated them when they sang the sucky theme song to the sucky Bond movie "A View To A Kill", hated them when they vanished and still hate them today.

*NBC has completely destroyed prime time by giving up 5 hours a week to Jay Leno. The show will get decent enough ratings, run as long as Leno wants to do it and eliminate having to take the time to develop & nurture new & groundbreaking shows. If NBC had pulled this stunt in the past, there would have been no Hill Street Blues, no St. Elsewhere, no LA Law, no ER, no Law & Order, just to name a few shows that started at 10pm.

*Glee is a fresh, interesting take on the high school drama & not a remake of an average-to-tolerable show from the 90s (I'm looking at you, CW's 90210 & Melrose Place)...therefore it will be gone by Christmas. Pre-order your "Glee:The Complete Series" now & avoid the rush.

*FX should just rebrand itself "The Scumbag Network." I wouldn't want to share an elevator for 5 minutes with the main characters from "The Shield", "Rescue Me", "Nip/Tuck" or "Damages", much less an hour a week.

*American Idol (or as I like to call it "The 100 Years War") is over & I was really surprised that the lead singer from Green Day didn't win. And by surprised, I mean totally indifferent.

*I'm probably more into social networking (Twitter, Facebook) than is really necessary, but where most people spend their work day surrounded by co-workers, I spend mine sitting in an edit bay by checking in on my friends & acquaintances keeps me from feeling totally invisible.

*Convoy is the greatest protest song about sticking it to the establishment ever written. Haven't we all wanted to crash the gate doing 98 & let them truckers roll, 10-4 at one time or another?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Bondage...One Sentence Bond Synopses

Having gone on a mini-James Bond splurge this month (thanks to TCM choosing Original Bond Sean Connery as it's "Star of the Month"), I've created a handy dandy one sentence reference guide to help keep the 20+ film franchise's many installments straight...please to enjoy!

Doctor No...The First One
From Russia With Love...The One With The Dude From Jaws
Goldfinger...The One With Pussy Galore
Thunderball...The Underwater One
You Only Live Twice...The Japanese One
On Her Majesty's Secret Service...The One With The Other Guy As Bond
Diamonds Are Forever...The One About Diamonds
Live And Let Die...The Voodoo One
The Man With The Golden Gun...The One With The Man With The Golden Gun & Tattoo From "Fantasy Island"
The Spy Who Loved Me...The One With The Underwater Car
Moonraker...The One In Space
For Your Eyes Only...The One With The Mountain Climbing
Octopussy...The One With Octopussy
A View To A Kill...The Crappy Roger Moore One With Grace Jones
The Living Daylights...The One With That Other, Other Guy As Bond
License To Kill...The Other One With That Other, Other Guy As Bond
Goldeneye...The One With Remington Steele
Tomorrow Never Dies...The One With The Kung Fu Chick
The World Is Not Enough...The One With Denise Richards As A Nuclear Scientist
Die Another Day...The One Nobody Really Remembers
Casino Royale...The One With The Blond Guy As Bond
Quantum Of Solace...The One With The Weird Name

So, the next time you & your friends are trying to remember which Bond film was which, just whip out this guide and settle that argument once and for all!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Service Industry

Why do all mechanics, repairmen and service technicians look at me like I'm a moron when it comes to mechanical things? Probably because I'm a moron when it comes to mechanical things.

I'm serious...somewhere along the line, I dropped the male gene for "fixing stuff." Don't know when it happened, probably about the same time I realized that TV was awesome (This was back in the day when TV was awesome. BJ & the Bear, The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, Buck know, the classics.)

At any rate, I have no aptitude whatsoever as a handyman/Mr. Fixit. The rule is "Measure twice, cut once." Yeah, for me it's "Measure three or four times, cut five or six times cause I measured wrong, cut again, go to the emergency room to reattach finger."

Mechanics also love to see me coming. They ask what's wrong. I tell them, "It doesn't go. The goer's broke. Fix the goer so it'll go." They start pricing boats.

I wish I could say that I was ashamed about this...but I'm not. I figure I'm stimulating the economy by keeping the service industry gainfully employed.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go change a lightbulb & need to locate my living will and first aid kit.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Boss

In honor of getting to see my favorite artist tonight in Greensoboro, I wanted to share my Springsteen stories.

*1991-Atlanta. The concert was to be held during the weekend of my first wedding anniversary. So, the morning tickets went on sale, Sainted Wife & I drove down to Dalton, GA to see if we could get seats. It was a lottery system, where you draw a number & then the record store would get on the phone with Ticketmaster and you'd get what you could get. I drew my envelope...#14. Sainted Wife drew one as well...#2. We wound up with 9th row seats to the Human Touch/Lucky Town tour. I happily skipped my 5 year high school reunion for this show.

*2003-Chapel Hill. I'd snagged great seats...13 rows back at UNC's football stadium. The concert was held one week after Johnny Cash had passed away. Next to Bruce, Cash was the man. I'd grown up listening to his music & even had the good fortune to see him in concert once. So his death, while not a surprise, hit me pretty hard. Night of the show, Bruce walks onstage alone and as the E Street Band files silently on behind him, opens up with an acapella version of Ring of Fire. I was blown away. It's one of those concert moments you read about, but never think you'll get to be a part of. Then Bruce & the Band blew the doors off the place for 3 1/2 hours.

So I'm insanely excited about tonight. I don't care that my seats are in an upper section. I don't care what he plays. I just want the chance to see the Boss one more time.

Like he says, "It ain't no sin to be glad you're alive."