Flirting With Disaster

It has been brought to my attention that I am a bit of a flirt. I plead guilty to that. I am a flirt and I expect to be until the day I die. In fact, if I'm not flirting then someone should really check my pulse, because I'm probably dead.

While I do enjoy flirting with women, I do not hit on them. There is a very definite difference and woe be unto the man who doesn't know it. Flirting is fun and should be enjoyable for both parties. Hitting on someone (who isn't interested) is creepy, off putting and makes you look like a jerk. As a public service to all my male brethren, here are the inherent differences between flirting and hitting on.

(Why am I only addressing the men? In the first place, I happen to be one & have some experience in the matter and in the second place, it's a sad but true fact that men don't care if they're being flirted with or hit on as long as a woman is paying attention to them)

A. Flirting, when done correctly, can be done anywhere & anytime. It's always complimentary and with totally innocent intentions and expectations. You're not trying to "get" anything. As a matter of fact, if you are skilled enough, you can flirt with someone in front of their significant other without getting you teeth kicked in. The reason is simple and bears repeating: You are not trying to achieve anything other than making the flirtee feel better about themselves. There is no agenda to flirting.

B. Hitting on is done with the intention of some sort of personal gain. If you and the lady are both unattached (and the lady is receptive), then no harm no foul. However, if you're seriously hitting on someone in a relationship then you're a scumbag who deserves whatever butt whoopin' you get. Some of the slimier forms of this tactic include trying to plant seeds of doubt, slandering the boyfriend/husband or generally saying things like, "You could do so much better than him." There isn't a circle of Hell deep enough for men who use these tactics.

If you find yourself confused about your intentions, try this little tip: If someone said what you're about to say to your sister, would you stab them repeatedly with a spork without fear or regard for retribution or jail time? If the answer is "yes", then you might want to rethink your approach.

Flirting is a wonderful thing...we all want to feel attractive and desireable. Use your powers for good, because with great power comes great responsibility.