It's finally here. Can you feel the electricity in the air? American Idol is back on our TV machines! Bad auditions! Dreams coming true! Crazy Paula! Jerky Simon! The New Girl with no distinct characteristics yet! The culmination of all that is good and wonderful in the world!!!!!!
And, just to clear things up before the big premiere, I don't give a crap.
When I say I don't give a crap, I mean I really, really, really don't give a crap. I don't give a crap about the psychos who don't have a shot but humiliate themselves for the chance to be on TV. I don't give a crap about the final (what seems like) 200 who spend (what seems like) nine months being whittled down to the final two. I don't give a crap about the judges, the song choices, the guest stars, the never ending media obsession, the eventual winner, the eventual winner's crappy debut album or pretty much anything associated with the show. If possible, I give even less of a crap about Ryan Seacrest.
Now before you Idol fans start losing your minds, let me be clear: If you enjoy the show, good for you. I am in no way, shape or form suggesting that there is anything wrong with being a fan. If it brings you joy or happiness, then more power to you. Feel free to watch & vote & root, root, root for your favorite contestant.
I however, as stated above, don't give a crap. Knowing this up front will save everyone some awkward moments in the coming months. I don't have to pretend to be interested in the show just to avoid being rude. We can find other topics of conversation that don't involve you trying to convince me that American Idol is worth my time and attention. Trust me, you're not going to convince me of that.
So enjoy the new season, Dawg! I'll just sit over here & enjoy the shows that are probably going to be canceled simply because they had the misfortune to be scheduled against Idol.