Sports Night

I know many people who love sports. They enjoy watching highly trained athletes pitting their skills against one another. They love the thrill of competition. They live and die with their favorite teams.

More power to them. I am not one of these people.

"Apathetic" doesn't begin to cover how I feel about sports. I realize as a Southern male that I'm supposed to have some sort of genetic predisposition to athletics, but apparently it skipped me and got passed to my sister instead.

Part of it is due to the fact that I have no depth perception. I can't judge distances until something is literally a foot in front of my face. Since proficiency in most sports require being able to catch and/or throw with some accuracy, I'm spit out of luck there.

The other factor is my inherent laziness. I'm a watcher by nature, not a doer. I can provide smart aleck commentary with the best of them...just don't ask me to participate in what I'm mocking.

In addition, I figured out early on that one person/team/animal or car would an could run faster/jump higher or score more points than another person/team/animal or car. The law of averages demands it...otherwise all sports would wind up like a typical pee wee soccer match and no one wants that.

Over the years, I've learned to fake an interest in sports to avoid being rude. I know enough rudimentary information to appear interested when someone corners me about the BCS, NHL or March Madness, but as I get older it's getting harder & harder to pull off.

I love movies & TV shows about sports. I think because the time commitment is much shorter and I pretty much know who's going to win right from the start.

So sports fans, please enjoy your pastime to your heart's content. I'll just be over here napping.