Monday, December 15, 2008

Annual Review

In a little over a week, Christmas will be here. Time for eating & partying with friends and family. Also time for your annual performance review.

What's that...Christmas is a performance review? You bet it is. When you're unwrapping those gifts under the tree, what you receive is a comment on what kind of person you've been since last Christmas. Here's a handy chart to help you see where you stand:

A) YOU GET 90% THINGS YOU WANT
Congratulations...your performance has been mostly excellent this year. No major screw ups, no indiscretions that wound up on You Tube...you even remembered your mother's birthday. Look to receive most of what you've been hinting at since your birthday.

B) YOU GET 50% THINGS YOU WANT/50% THINGS YOU NEED
Oooh...looks like there's room for improvement here. You were pretty decent, but perhaps you made an ill timed comment about how your wife/girlfriend's mother is annoying or forgot to lower the seat once too often. Things like that will cost you that "Dark Knight" DVD you wanted and get you a nice pair of slacks. Better be more detail oriented in 2009.

C) YOU GET 90% THINGS YOU NEED
Danger Will Robinson, Danger! Looks like someone was a big jerk this year. Made a lot of major mistakes...commenting on weight gain, forgetting birthdays, anniversaries and Valentine's Day, maybe even voting Republican. These were costly, costly errors that need to be corrected immediately. You're looking not only at slacks, but socks and underwear as well. You're flying very close to the Danger Zone, Maverick and Goose has already bailed out.

D) YOU GET THINGS PEOPLE THINK YOU NEED
President Bush had a better year than you. Expect to find self help books, weight loss drinks, shirts that your Dad would wear and personal grooming products under the tree. If you've really screwed the pooch, you're gonna get something plaid or even worse....some sort of food item. Food as a gift basically says "Basic nourishment is all you deserve. I'm willing to keep you alive & that's about it."

With only 10 days left until Christmas, you might want to put in some overtime if you think there's a jug of windshield wiper fluid or fruitcake in your future. Be good for goodness sake!

1 comment:

Bill O' Rights said...

Maybe I will finally get you that Coke Zero you have been waiting on since November.... :)