To Boldly Go...

I've been revisiting Star Trek on DVD. It's been awhile...I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed it.

Just a few observations from a new, old fan.

*The show was much funnier than I remembered. Even the heaviest episodes had a chuckle or three.

*James T. Kirk's 5-year mission was obviously to boldly go after every single female in the galaxy.

*Speaking of Kirk...there's an ongoing geek debate over who was the better Enterprise captain, Kirk or Picard. Even a casual observer knows the answer is obviously Kirk. For all the time Jean Luc spent pondering and debating ethics, Jim Kirk would be beaming down, phasers set to "awesome" and kicking butt & taking names. Kirk would've not only resisted the Borg, he probably would have scored with the Queen for good measure.

*Tribbles are awesome and Trek built an entire episode around the, well, "hormonal frustration" of Spock. Who says science fiction isn't groundbreaking?

Live long and prosper...'cause I'm a blogger, not a docter!

Say Thanks

A brief thought for troubled times.

Things are tough right now and by all indications, things are going to get tougher.

The economy's in the toilet, there are wars & rumors of war and the bad news just keeps on coming.

It makes it really difficult to see a silver lining in the funnel cloud of despair.

But, before climbing into bed & hiding under the covers with a bottle of vodka, take just a minute and think about this...you are not alone.

If you have even one friend who cares about you, one family member you can talk to, one spouse or significant other who loves you no matter what the circumstances are, you are not alone.

Think about that one person (or group of people) who laugh with you & cry with you & miss you when you're not around. If you know without a doubt that no matter what happens, they'll still love you, then you are not alone.

So when things are looking grim & you're at the end of your rope turn off the TV, shut off the computer and call someone who's always been there for you and say "Thanks."

Because of them...you are not alone.

Election Fraud

It saddens me to have to report that in this season of change and upheaval that there has been a confirmed case of election fraud. I thought that an election was finally going to happen with a clear-cut winner...with no bitter feelings about the outcome...and with no accusations of voter intimidation or tampering. Sadly, once again, that is not the case.

I regret to inform you that, despite my overwhelming lead in the exit polls, People Magazine has failed once again to name me "Sexiest Man Alive."

I am just as shocked as all of you. I truly believed the voters wanted a change. That they would rally behind a pasty, slightly overweight state employee and part-time improviser from North Carolina rather than some Hollywood superhunk. But in a shocking turn of events, the voters went selected yet another international sex symbol, Hugh Jackman.

I'm at a loss to explain the errors in the polls...everyone I asked assured me they would vote for me. Granted, my sampling data was really small...pretty much me & Sainted Wife (although, come to think of it, I did hear her refer to Jackman as "hunky" right before going to the polls...hmm.)

I mean, come on...what does Hugh Jackman have that I don't? Sure, he's a multi-talented actor and singer with millions of dollars and a thriving career and been in many hit movies and appeared on Broadway and was Wolverine...but he was also in "Van Helsing" and that movie sucked with or without vampires in it. Look at his record people..."Van Helsing"!!!!

Fear not...I will have my team of legal experts in People's offices poring over the results just as soon as someone from James Scott Farrin calls me back (I hope they send Robert Vaughan...he's cool!) Until then, I urge calm and patience with the process. In your outrage, please don't resort to violence. Justice will be served.

Thank you for your continued support...I am also accepting donations for my legal fight (cash only...don't want to get the IRS involved.) Stay strong America...I will be sexy for all of you!

Dying Is Easy

I speak today on one of the most difficult tasks that anyone can ever undertake onstage...being funny.

Legendary actor Edwin Booth is credited with the famous quote, "Dying is easy...comedy is hard.". Booth was right on many levels. Comedy is an incredibly difficult task to pull off.

Humor is such a subjective thing. What makes me laugh probably doesn't make you crack a smile. Add in the fact that in order to be convincingly funny, you have to make it look effortless and the skill it takes to do that increases the level of difficulty a thousandfold.

Nothing is more painful than watching someone try to be funny and failing miserably. Professional comedians don't say they had a bad night...they say they "died.". That's how hard it is.

The Academy Awards rarely, if ever, recognize comedic performances. I think because when they're done well, it barely seems like it took any effort at all. But I can name several very good dramatic actors who can't or couldn't pull off credible comedic performances: Jennifer Connelly, joaquin Phoenix, Angelina Jolie and Harrison Ford to name just a few. It's that difficult.

So, if you're a performer who has the skill to make audiences laugh, whether by performing Shakespeare or Simon or just making it up as you go, I salute you. The world is in dire need of laughter & the ability to provide it is a great gift indeed.

Be proud...because dying is easy and comedy is very, very hard.

Podge

My friend Dan Lyons turns 40 on Friday.

I've known him for almost 25 years. Through that entire time, though we've disagreed on many topics (politics, music,Vanderbilt football, politics again) he has always been there for me.

He boldly defended me to his family (to whom, for a time, I was "That Chris") when I dragged him to movies on a Sunday. He stood up with me the day I got married (after throwing me what could easily be called the tamest bachelor party this side of Amish Country). He has spent many, many hours with me at the Waffle House discussing issues of absolutely no importance except to us. He has even forgiven me (I think) for accidentally getting him a date to his senior prom. He is, as you would suspect, a kind and generous man.

We've gone through years of girlfriends, weddings, New Year's Eve parties, Christmas Eve Eve movies of varying quality, funerals, Pensacola, Indiana, North Carolina, birthdays, double features, elections, and through it all he has always been there for me.

He has seen me at my best and at my very, very worst and every stage in-between...and any of you didn't have the pleasure of knowing me in my much more volatile 20's should be thankful that I've mellowed somewhat with age. Only he and my Sainted Wife could have put up with me through all that...and he had 4 extra years of it.

He has been an engineer and an educator and a Naval Aviator and the best friend I have ever had. And because I can't be there in person to celebrate with him, I wanted to make sure he was honored in my little corner of cyberspace.

Happy (Early) Birthday...and from the bottom of my heart, I wanted to say..."How 'Bout Them Packers!"

Snow Days

I know it's a bit early, but if the stores can have their halls decked already, I can write my first Christmas themed blog.

Note I said "Christmas"...no disrespect to anyone's individual beliefs, but I celebrate Christmas, decorate a Christmas tree, sing Christmas Carols and write this blog...so it's always gonna be Christmas here at Nerdvana World Headquarters.

We're on the cusp of the annual deluge of Christmas music & I feel I must clear up a common misconception...

"Let It Snow" is NOT a Christmas song. Never has been, never will be no matter how many Christmas CDs it winds up on. "Let It Snow" is about a guy trying to use bad weather as a reason to score.

There's nothing wrong with this in and of itself. It's the theme of about 90% of all pop songs ever written. HOWEVER...trying to pass it off as a Christmas song just because it features snow doesn't wash with me.

There are plenty of Christmas songs, both religous and secular, to choose from. "Let It Snow" isn't one of them.

"But it's about winter, like Winter Wonderland.", I hear you argue. Fine...find me a radio station that plays either song any other time but December and I'll concede the point.

Until then, both songs are off my Christmas playlist.

Election Post Mortem

This will be approximately the ten millionth blog about the election (and that's probably a conservative, no pun intended, estimate), but I felt compelled to throw my .02 into the fray.

*"He's a community organizer....what's that?"
Well Mr. Mayor, apparently a "community organizer" is someone who takes a diverse group of individuals from all walks of life, trains them, treats them with respect and values their service which inspires them to volunteer and work long hours for no pay in potentially hostile battleground states for a candidate they believe in and who winds up turning most of those traditionally Red states Blue.

*If you look at the musicians who were stumping for both Obama & McCain, it's no wonder the Senator from Illinois is the new Commander In Chief. Among the artists who campaigned for Obama were James Taylor, Jimmy Buffett, Joss Stone, Will I Am and Bruce Springsteen. Campaigning for McCain? Lee Greenwood, Hank Williams, Jr. and one of the dudes from Big and Rich. Let's face it...the Democratic ticket rocked in more ways than one.

*This is a great opportunity to heal some of the divisions of the past eight years, to conquer the fear that has gripped us since that awful day in September 2001. The world is a dangerous place and we do need to be cautious. But there's a difference between caution and fear. Caution is a measured response to a potential threat. Caution allows us to weigh our options and prepare a proportional response. Fear causes chaos and confusion...people who feel cornered and afraid are more likely to blindly lash out. I think one of the unspoken reasons the election turned out the way it did was that a large part of the American populace was sick and tired of being afraid all the time and said "Enough".

*John McCain showed great grace and dignity with his concession speech. His comment about Obama's grandmother being "proud of the good man she helped raise" was a particular highlight for me. If Senator McCain had campaigned the way he conceded, I suspect he might not have had to make that speech at all.

*President Elect Obama also reached out during his acceptance speech to those who didn't support him..."I may not have gotten your vote, but I am your President as well." I have no doubt he meant that and I hope he proves it to everyone who voted against him.

If the election turned out the way you wanted it to, it's an exciting time. If not, you're probably wondering what comes next. Here's a little secret-we're all wondering what comes next.

Why don't we surprise those who say we'll never be one America again and find out together.