Thursday, June 18, 2009

Elvis Has Left The Building

It's been said that most people can be divided into two camps: They're either Elvis people or Beatles people. While I respect & enjoy the work done by Mr. Lennon & Mr. McCartney (and to a lesser extent, Mr. Harrison and to a much, much lesser extent Mr. Starr), I am an Elvis person.

Understand, I was only 8 years old when he died, so when I say "I'm an Elvis person," I mean that I enjoy his music. He didn't have the huge impact on me he had on people of my parent's generation. As a matter of fact, my favorite song at the time Elvis passed away was "The Streak" by Ray Stevens. And the one time I did go to Graceland, I was happier about getting my "I Shot JR" shirt than seeing the home of the King of Rock and Roll.

ANYWAY...I have, over the years, developed a theory that if Elvis had made one small life decision differently, he would still be alive today. No, the decision has nothing to do with has everything to do with Ann Margret.

Take a trip into the past with me to 1964...Elvis is making "Viva Las Vegas", one of his very few watchable motion pictures. His co-star is the lovely, the talented, the pneumatic Swedish redhead Ann Margret. According to legend, she and Elvis had a fling while filming. Obviously, nothing came of it since Elvis would eventually marry future Naked Gun & Dallas star, Priscilla Beaulieu and father future Scientologist nutjob Lisa Marie and Ann Margret would wed Roger Smith and drink away most of the 1970s.

But, if Elvis had decided to stick with Ann Margret, his entire life would have changed. Step away from this blog for a second & Google some images of Ann Margret. It's OK...I'll wait.

Dum de dum dooby dum...

Found 'em? Elvis would still be alive today because no man with even 10% working brain capacity would choose drugs over Ann Margret in the late 60s/early 70s. It's just not possible. Ann Margret would've fired Col. Parker, told Elvis to get over his mother and hauled him to LA where they would've spent many happy years together making a hunka hunka burning love.

Elvis did not choose wisely.

No comments: