One, Please

When I was in high school, I was a little different. For those of you who knew me then (and know me now, for that matter) this will come as no shock. I didn't drink or party and I never had a steady girlfriend. But that's not what really set me apart. What made me seem so odd to some people was my willingness to got to the movies by myself.

I'd always loved going to the movies. It was something special to me. When I turned 16 and realized that I didn't need to rely on my parents to drop me off or pick me up and could go to the theater any time I wanted to, I was happy as a pig in mud. As a result, there were numerous classic movies from the 80's that I saw by myself. I had people I could go with, I just never needed other people to enjoy going to the movies. In fact, some of the crappiest movies I ever saw I saw because everyone else wanted to see them (Caveman and Missing In Action are two that come immediately to mind.) For some reason, my friends thought this was weird. I thought it made my life easier, plus I had the added bonus of being able to recommend good movies to my pals.

So, just for kicks and giggles, here's a list of some of the great (and admittedly not-so-great) movies that I saw flying solo:

Ghostbusters
Fletch
Back to the Future
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Die Hard
Silverado
The Karate Kid
Midnight Run
The Great Outdoors
St. Elmo's Fire
The Breakfast Club
Hoosiers
Star Trek III

Nothing Much

So, I don't really have anything on my mind. Well, that's not entirely true...I've got about 7 million things on my mind, but none of them are particularly interesting or funny or really worth writing about. So, I thought I'd take the time to fire off a few things that are on my mind, but don't really warrant a full blog. Please to enjoy:

*My loathing of Duran Duran knows no bounds. Hated them when they were popular in the 80s, hated them when a couple of them were in that band with Robert Palmer, hated them when they sang the sucky theme song to the sucky Bond movie "A View To A Kill", hated them when they vanished and still hate them today.

*NBC has completely destroyed prime time by giving up 5 hours a week to Jay Leno. The show will get decent enough ratings, run as long as Leno wants to do it and eliminate having to take the time to develop & nurture new & groundbreaking shows. If NBC had pulled this stunt in the past, there would have been no Hill Street Blues, no St. Elsewhere, no LA Law, no ER, no Law & Order, just to name a few shows that started at 10pm.

*Glee is a fresh, interesting take on the high school drama & not a remake of an average-to-tolerable show from the 90s (I'm looking at you, CW's 90210 & Melrose Place)...therefore it will be gone by Christmas. Pre-order your "Glee:The Complete Series" now & avoid the rush.

*FX should just rebrand itself "The Scumbag Network." I wouldn't want to share an elevator for 5 minutes with the main characters from "The Shield", "Rescue Me", "Nip/Tuck" or "Damages", much less an hour a week.

*American Idol (or as I like to call it "The 100 Years War") is over & I was really surprised that the lead singer from Green Day didn't win. And by surprised, I mean totally indifferent.

*I'm probably more into social networking (Twitter, Facebook) than is really necessary, but where most people spend their work day surrounded by co-workers, I spend mine sitting in an edit bay by myself...so checking in on my friends & acquaintances keeps me from feeling totally invisible.

*Convoy is the greatest protest song about sticking it to the establishment ever written. Haven't we all wanted to crash the gate doing 98 & let them truckers roll, 10-4 at one time or another?

Bondage...One Sentence Bond Synopses

Having gone on a mini-James Bond splurge this month (thanks to TCM choosing Original Bond Sean Connery as it's "Star of the Month"), I've created a handy dandy one sentence reference guide to help keep the 20+ film franchise's many installments straight...please to enjoy!

Doctor No...The First One
From Russia With Love...The One With The Dude From Jaws
Goldfinger...The One With Pussy Galore
Thunderball...The Underwater One
You Only Live Twice...The Japanese One
On Her Majesty's Secret Service...The One With The Other Guy As Bond
Diamonds Are Forever...The One About Diamonds
Live And Let Die...The Voodoo One
The Man With The Golden Gun...The One With The Man With The Golden Gun & Tattoo From "Fantasy Island"
The Spy Who Loved Me...The One With The Underwater Car
Moonraker...The One In Space
For Your Eyes Only...The One With The Mountain Climbing
Octopussy...The One With Octopussy
A View To A Kill...The Crappy Roger Moore One With Grace Jones
The Living Daylights...The One With That Other, Other Guy As Bond
License To Kill...The Other One With That Other, Other Guy As Bond
Goldeneye...The One With Remington Steele
Tomorrow Never Dies...The One With The Kung Fu Chick
The World Is Not Enough...The One With Denise Richards As A Nuclear Scientist
Die Another Day...The One Nobody Really Remembers
Casino Royale...The One With The Blond Guy As Bond
Quantum Of Solace...The One With The Weird Name

So, the next time you & your friends are trying to remember which Bond film was which, just whip out this guide and settle that argument once and for all!

Service Industry

Why do all mechanics, repairmen and service technicians look at me like I'm a moron when it comes to mechanical things? Probably because I'm a moron when it comes to mechanical things.

I'm serious...somewhere along the line, I dropped the male gene for "fixing stuff." Don't know when it happened, probably about the same time I realized that TV was awesome (This was back in the day when TV was awesome. BJ & the Bear, The Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo, Buck Rogers...you know, the classics.)

At any rate, I have no aptitude whatsoever as a handyman/Mr. Fixit. The rule is "Measure twice, cut once." Yeah, for me it's "Measure three or four times, cut five or six times cause I measured wrong, cut again, go to the emergency room to reattach finger."

Mechanics also love to see me coming. They ask what's wrong. I tell them, "It doesn't go. The goer's broke. Fix the goer so it'll go." They start pricing boats.

I wish I could say that I was ashamed about this...but I'm not. I figure I'm stimulating the economy by keeping the service industry gainfully employed.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go change a lightbulb & need to locate my living will and first aid kit.

The Boss

In honor of getting to see my favorite artist tonight in Greensoboro, I wanted to share my Springsteen stories.

*1991-Atlanta. The concert was to be held during the weekend of my first wedding anniversary. So, the morning tickets went on sale, Sainted Wife & I drove down to Dalton, GA to see if we could get seats. It was a lottery system, where you draw a number & then the record store would get on the phone with Ticketmaster and you'd get what you could get. I drew my envelope...#14. Sainted Wife drew one as well...#2. We wound up with 9th row seats to the Human Touch/Lucky Town tour. I happily skipped my 5 year high school reunion for this show.

*2003-Chapel Hill. I'd snagged great seats...13 rows back at UNC's football stadium. The concert was held one week after Johnny Cash had passed away. Next to Bruce, Cash was the man. I'd grown up listening to his music & even had the good fortune to see him in concert once. So his death, while not a surprise, hit me pretty hard. Night of the show, Bruce walks onstage alone and as the E Street Band files silently on behind him, opens up with an acapella version of Ring of Fire. I was blown away. It's one of those concert moments you read about, but never think you'll get to be a part of. Then Bruce & the Band blew the doors off the place for 3 1/2 hours.

So I'm insanely excited about tonight. I don't care that my seats are in an upper section. I don't care what he plays. I just want the chance to see the Boss one more time.

Like he says, "It ain't no sin to be glad you're alive."

Shovel Ready

I've been giving a lot of thought lately to the state of my career. And I've come to the conclusion that it is indeed "shovel ready"...by which I mean it's pretty much in a hole six feet deep & ready for someone to shovel the dirt in on top of it.

This isn't an "Oh woe is me, I have it sooooo bad" kind of post. I don't feel sorry for myself and I'm not asking anyone else to either. It's just a cold, logical statement of fact. The good news is, I have a job that I enjoy doing and where I feel appreciated for my efforts. I'm luckier than a lot of people.

The bad news is have zero room for upward mobility. The only way I could possibly get promoted is if my boss left (and even then, the state would probably just do away with the position rather than filling it.) Also, I love my boss & don't want him to leave just so I might get his job and, having seen his job, don't know that I would want it.

In addition, I have had less than zero luck in applying at other TV stations in this market. When you have over 15 years experience and several awards for your work, this can be more than a little annoying. Logically I know that the primary reasons are as follows: I have no full time experience in news promotions (which doesn't mean I can't do it, just that I don't currently), I'm overqualified for the positions I do have the experience for and most stations would find it easier to hire a couple of 22 year old kids at half the salary to do the job.

So, if the state ever decided that my job was unnecessary, I'm pretty sure it would be time for me to find a new vocation. I don't really want to do that. I love working in TV. It's the only thing I've ever wanted to do and I think I'm pretty good at it. But I may not be the one making the final choice in the matter.

Since I love being in Raleigh, this leaves me at a crossroads of sorts. I will send out resumes for jobs that I want (but for some crazy reason don't want me) and I will hold out hope that I can keep the job I have a little while longer....say, another 13 years or so.

Just in case, I'm going out & buying myself a shovel.

An Improvisers Prayer

This is my non-denomenational, ecuminical, all-purpose, all-inclusive improvisers prayer. Non-religious improvisers, please feel free to substitute "Del" for "Lord" where applicable

Dear Lord...
I am about to take the stage.
I am about to make stuff up again.
Please keep my mind sharp.
Please help me remember that the best response is always "Yes and..."
Please help me remember that in the crowd, among the comps, family members, house staff and other improvisers, are a few actual paying customers who've never seen improv before. Help me give them the best show I can.
Please remind me that it's not all about me.
Make my edits timely and keep me from hanging my teammates out to dry.
Should I attempt to steal something from last night's "Office" or last week's "Saturday Night Live," smite me in a way I've never been smote before.
Remind me my fingers are neither a gun nor a phone, but merely pointing appendages.
Help me find a new way of incorporating suggestions like "Jello" or "Elephant" and keep me from flipping off the drunk in the second row who screamed them out.
Remind me a little dirty can be funny and a lot dirty can be creepy and what the difference is between the two.
Make my puns plentiful & painful...indifference from the audience being the valley of the shadow of death.
And finally, no matter how much I want to, stay my hand from killing my scene partner.
Bless my teammates...even when we get on each others nerves.
May we bring laughter & joy & may you bring us all to Improv Heaven one day...Chicago, here we come.
In the name of the True Story, the Harold & the Holy Close...
Amen