"Hey Look At Me!"

I've heard from many female friends over the years about just how annoying it can be when guys pay too much attention to them. I know they're not being arrogant; many men are, how shall I put this, overzealous when it comes to women they find attractive. There's never any excuse for any behavior that can be construed as inappropriate, stalker-like or just downright creepy.

That being said...I've never heard one of my male friends complain about unwanted attention from women. This is because (except in rare cases) to men there's no such thing as unwanted attention from women.

Every single achievement by men in the history of the world can be traced back to one simple idea that's hardwired into males from the moment of their conception..."If I do this maybe a girl will like me."

Does that make men look like simple, ignorant creatures who are only motivated by one thing? Well, that's because we are simple, ignorant creatures only motivated by one thing. We want girls to like us. No guy, no matter how enlightened or post-modern (whatever that means) will deny that fact.

There are countless examples throughout history that back this fact up. Julius Caesar got involved in Egyptian politics for Cleopatra. Columbus crossed the ocean for Queen Isabella. Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone just so he could get the number of the future Mrs. Bell.

What's the first thing a boy child shouts when he's about to do something stupid or reckless on the playground? "Watch me!" When a boy discovers the wonderful world of boogers, snakes and frogs, he doesn't show them to his buddies. He throws them at the girls, who, granted scream & run away, but hey, they sure will remember him.

Men crave attention from women. Men are willing to write sonnets, discover continents and (if You Tube is any example) almost set themselves on fire just to make you smile or roll your eyes or simply acknowledge their existence.

It isn't always pretty...but it's the way we are.

Ain't Love Grand?

Sitting in Starbucks, preoccupied with the economy, the election and a world consumed with war and rumors of war, I was feeling pretty grim.

And then I got to watch a couple having their engagement pictures taken. They looked at each other with such devotion, love and happiness...and I remembered the last time someone looked at me like that. It was this morning as Sainted Wife was leaving for work. It's the same look I get every morning, no matter what kind of mood we'd been in the night before. The look that says, "When the day's over, no matter what happens, I want you to come home to me.". I always have and I always will.

In this land of confusion, if you're as lucky as I am to have someone who wants you around when you can't even stand yourself then you're very, very blessed.

Faith, hope and love...and the greatest of these is love.

That Guy

Ladies, if you will indulge me, this paricular missive is directed solely towards my male bretheren...although a female perspective is more than welcome.

Gentlemen...we need to accept the fact that we are flawed & stupid individuals. Single minded and stubborn to a fault, the best we can hope for is to find the right woman to temper and tolerate our rough edges. If you haven't been lucky enough to find that special someone (as I have), you can surely improve your chances by not being That Guy.

Now, we've all been That Guy at one time or another. It's hardwired into our DNA, much like our pathological need to control the remote or our constant amusement at flatulence (it's always funny). But with age should come wisdom or at least the ability to hide That Guy tendencies...but that's not always the case. Sometimes we're That Guy and don't even realize it. So, as a public service, here are some identifying characteristics of That Guy...ignore them at your peril.

*If you have more beer than food in your fridge, you're That Guy

*If you're in your 30s and your fraternity days are your greatest achievement, you're That Guy

*If you truly believe that "Chicks aren't funny", you're That Guy

*If you still refer to women as "chicks", you're definitely That Guy

*If you won't go to an important event with your girlfriend/spouse (like a work party or her father's funeral) because you'll miss the game, you're That Guy.

These are but a few warning signs. I urge all men to be vigilant. Don't be That Guy...you're making the rest of us look bad!