Notes From Nerdvana

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Free Speech

There seems to be some sort of disconnect these days concerning the privilege of free speech. Specifically, the idea that just because you can say whatever you want should you say whatever you want?

I believe that everyone has the right to have his or her own opinion about any topic that strikes their fancy. I've been known to have opinions as well & to voice them whenever it seemed necessary. However, if you insist that I respect your right to have an opinion then I must insist that you respect my right to think you're a jag-off for the way you express that opinion.

Let's take any topic that could be considered controversial (gay marriage, abortion, religion, politics, Joel vs. Mike on MST3K.) Now, for our example, let's replace the hot button topic with the word "cookies." Here's how it's gonna go down:

If you say that you are not in favor of cookies, but I am, then I'm going to chalk it up to a difference of opinion. Live & let live, no harm, no foul.

If you say that cookies are what's wrong with the world today, I'll probably try and engage you in a discussion on the pros vs. cons of cookies and their effects on society. As long as we're having a (reasonably) adult and (somewhat) mature debate, once again: Live & let live, no harm, no foul.

But if you go around saying things like, "Cookies are evil. Anyone who likes cookies should be beaten within an inch of their lives. Cookies are for ignorant, weak willed morons and I will mock anyone who has ever or will ever support or endorse cookies because I am superior to them. Their opinions don't count. If they had any brains, they would listen to me...I like crackers!!" Then, I'm not going to try and discuss our inherent differences even though I might see the merits of crackers.

What I'm going to do is think you're a jag-off who isn't really so in love with crackers as he is with the sound of his own voice. And if you decide to slam cookie lovers on the internet (the national headquarters of hit & run opinions), then you've moved up from jag-off to d-bag pretty quickly.

I know there are people who live their lives with 100% honesty & refuse to sugarcoat their opinions. But the people I know who are like that will deal with others one-on-one when they have a differing viewpoint. They won't throw a verbal hand grenade & hide behind the "I'm entitled to my opinion" defense.

Sure, you can spout off any opinion you like...it's a free country. But don't be surprised when not everyone agrees with you.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Career Opportunity

Are you worried about job security? Of course, we all are! But don't fret...I'm here to tell you about the #1 growth industry for the 21st Century. That's right...you too can become a Cult Leader.

"But Chris," I hear you ask, "isn't leading a cult time consuming & complicated?" Not at all. If you have a few unemployed friends, easily manipulated family members and a cool pair of sunglasses, you too can have an exciting new career that's recession proof and profitable.

With all the strife and unrest all over the world, there's never been a better time to start a cult. If you convince one person that the world is going to end and they should join you in your secluded compound deep in the mountains, and they convince two people & those two people convince two other people in no time at all you'll have more followers than you can shake a stick at (if that's your idea of a good time.)

Want to spend more time with your family? Nothing brings a family closer together like a standoff with the Feds. Teach the kids about firearms safety while shooting it out with ATF agents. And Mom can hone her chemistry skills, cooking up another batch of crystal meth to sell to finance your whole operation.

So act now...just head on out to you local Army/Navy surplus store & pick up your very own Cult Leader starter kit. Just remember to pay with cash so the secret cabal of Shriners and Rotarians who run the shadow government & are in cahoots with Ecuador and the Grand Galactic Leader from Zargon IV to take over the world & implant mood-altering chips in your head can't find you.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Monsters vs. Aliens...My Review

So, I got to go to a preview screening of "Monsters vs. Aliens" last night. I've been seeing the trailers for the past few weeks, thought it looked funny & was very excited to see it. Unfortunately, this is one of those movies where the individual parts are better than the whole.

The film takes way too long setting up it's premise & introducing the characters. Once Susan (the 49 1/2 foot tall woman, voiced by Reese Witherspoon) is locked up with the other monsters, it's explained to her by General W. R. Monger (Keifer Sutherland) that the government has been capturing and containing monsters for 50 years. Ten minutes later, when the earth is invaded by a probe from space, General Monger explains to the President (Stephen Colbert in a glorified cameo) that the government has been capturing and containing monsters for 50 years. You know, just in case anyone in the audience was suffering from that "Memento" short-term memory loss thing & forgot the speech they just heard.

The kids in the audience (at least the ones last night) aren't going to care about Susan's relationship woes with obnoxious fiancee Derek (Paul Rudd at his smarmiest). I know I didn't care about them. And with all the strong, empowered female characters available today, having a heroine who spends half the movie crying about how awful it is being different sends a troubling message. Yes, Susan does learn to accept & overcome, but it takes far too long for anyone to care.

Worse, the interesting supporting monsters, Dr. Cockroach, Bob & The Missing Link wind up basically becoming a Greek chorus/cheering section for Susan. They never get a chance to become truly rounded characters, outside of a few moments of glory. Which is a shame, because they're a lot of fun and wickedly voiced by Hugh Laurie, Seth Rogen and Will Arnett.

I know, I know, "It's a kid's movie. You're being too hard on it." I don't think I am. Kid's movies today (especially one with so many homages to classic science fiction films of the past 50 years) have gotten so much smarter and strive to be so much more, that "Monsters vs. Aliens" feels like a missed opportunity. Which is a shame, since I think it wanted to be so much more than it turned out to be.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Some Way Out Of Here

I've watched & loved the reimagined "Battlestar Galactica" since it showed up on Sci-Fi just over 4 years ago. I didn't expect to love it. Actually, when I first heard about it I thought it was a spectacularly bad idea. That is, until I actually saw the show. Then I was hooked.

So, here are a few thoughts & observations on the final episode....Spoilers ahead:

*Overall, I enjoyed the finale. I'm still torn on the "give up technology & live off the land" twist. On one hand, what better way to break the cycle of violence & alienation than by having to rely on other people & nature to survive. On the other hand, who wants to live without antibiotics & toilet paper?

*Everyone, more or less, got the ending they deserved. Lee finally gets to be his own man & do his own thing. Chief gets to avenge Cally. Laura gets to lay her burdens down after getting her people home. Ellen & Tighe finally get to be together. Baltar & Caprica Six (who were together at the end of the world) get a second chance at the beginning of a new world. And Starbuck (who was never my favorite character) gets to go away.

*Poor Felix Gaeta. If he'd just held on a little longer, he would've been "Admiral Gaeta", if only for a little while.

*I want a Tyrol action figure with Tory Neck-Snapping action.

I was most surprised that this show, which could be bleak on it's best days, had a more or less happy ending & a much smaller body count than I imagined.

My thanks to Ron Moore, Edward James Olmos, Michael Hogan & the rest of the cast and crew for one of the best shows of the past 5 years. So Say We All!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

United We Stand

Who could have ever guessed that the one issues that would unite our divided population, that would bring together every race, color, creed & gamut of the social and political spectrum, that would heal the divide and have the entire country come together as one, would be the morons at AIG giving out millions in bonuses after taking bailout money from the government.

Seriously guys...when the dudes who burned the house down at Enron are looking at you & saying, "That's seriously not cool.", then you've perpetrated jackassery of the highest order.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Hard Rain's Gonna Fall

Usually I'm not one of those people whose mood is adversely affected by the weather. If I'm gonna get whiny & emo & moody, it's because I'm broke or tired or it's a day that ends in "Y." But the weather, I can take or leave.

However, after four days of cold, gray and generally miserable weather, I have gotten into a funk that makes Morrissey look like Mister Rogers. I'm thisclose to shopping at Hot Topic. My Chemical Romance is telling me I need to lighten up. In short, I'm a bit bummed out.

But there is hope (there's always hope)...the one/two combo that is "The Big Bang Theory" & "How I Met Your Mother" made me laugh last night. It wasn't raining on the way to work this morning. There are unsubstantiated rumors that, at some point in the next 24 hours, a big flaming ball of gas will appear in the sky (no, not Rush Limbaugh) and it's actually going to warm up. I have coffee & new episodes of "The Daily Show" & "The Colbert Report" to look forward to. New comics come out tomorrow and the end of the week brings ComedyWorx's 20th anniversary shows & Week 4 of Super Sparkle Showcase.

So all is not doom & gloom. Things will get better. The sun will come out & rainbows & puppies & unicorns will frolic like they've never frolicked before. I'll put away Bob Dylan, throw in some Jimmy Buffett & head for Margaritaville and be my usual happy self...at least until we hit a day that ends in "Y."